The more I love you, the harder it gets for me to leave you. Even for good reasons..
I don’t want to grow too attached to you but you really are part of my life now…
And as long as I expect more, I never get what I really want…
It’s hard to believe in something sureal. It’s like gambling.. Risking all that mean the world to you just for a better future..
I don’t know why I cry so hard tonight.. May be it’s because I want you to know that I’m not okay.. To feel that I don’t have to cry all alone.. To know that someone’s care for me.. I’m okay when you are close to me… See, you make everything better just by being there.. I don’t need reasons to cry, I just feel want to. And I hope you know that..
Now everytime I pissed at you or mad at you or want to give up on you, I just need to remember how you give your ‘kulit ayam’ for me without me asking
Well, God you know how it hurt me so much and I don’t know what do you want from all of this that happened to me.
I really want to believe that everything happen for the best and you want the best for me. But sometimes it takes so much effort to believe in that.
God, give me serenity to accept the things that I can’t change
Sometimes I feel like to leave it all behind and start a very new life. Where nobody knows me and I know nobody.. Sometimes I get too tired of all this shit and decide to go.
I think that’s the best decision that I could ever made for myself… But I know I can’t come back..
Ini bukan masalah bener atau salah…
Aq hanya berusaha untuk bersamamu selama yang aku bisa.
Karena there’s no future.. Well, i don’t believe in future… I live the present days, that’s enough to be with you as if this is the last day..
Karena pada kenyataannya kemungkinan besar adalah km ga akan lagi bareng sama aq untuk waktu yang cukup lama. Dan aq cuma mau membuat kenangan sebanyak mungkin dan menghabiskan waktu sebanyak mungkin sama km selagi aq sempat. Dan selagi Tuhan masih mengijinkan aq bareng sama kmu..
Karena masa depan memang di depan, dan qta boleh berencana… Tapi kita ga tau kapan rencana itu berubah.. Dan beda antara hari ini dan esok bisa sangat besar. Karena beberapa alasan aq ga percaya sama masa depan, dan aq hanya hidup untuk hari ini..
Ini bukan masalah siapa bener dan siapa salah…
Semua salah ketika kmu ga tau alesan apa di balik hal itu..
Aq hanya berusaha bersamamu selama aq bisa…
Dan aq berharap punya cukup kenangan buat aq nnti…
Tuhan, jangan biarkan rencana ini hancur di depanq untuk kesekian kalinya..
Dan walaupun semakin banyak rintangan di depan.. Dan seberapa banyak aq bilang ke orang2 yang terus melupakan apa yang aq bilang, Tuhan, semoga aq tetap kukuh pada pendirianq..
Kasi aq hati yang mampu, mampu meninggalkan segala sesuatu yang menghalangi.. Kasi aq jalan baru tiap kali ada jalan yang tertutup..
I’ve been far from home for too long.. Until I forgot how it feels to be at home…
This is the lowest point in my life.
When I’m desperately frustrated and I don’t know what to do..
When I don’t know where to go, and don’t know how to feel..
I feel like the whole world is against me and I’m standing alone
Trying to fight with everything I had.
Even the person that I can rely on, walks away from me, turn his back and leave me all alone.
I don’t mean to push you or anyone too hard. I don’t mean to make you come with me anywhere I want.
It because I’m simply desperate.. I don’t know what to do
And I don’t like you to give up before you try.
Because deep down, I know and I’m sure, more than anyone else, that you are capable.
This is the lowest point in my life..
Where I’m about to decide what the future of my unwanted job would be.
And I have to decide things that I’m going to do heartlessly..
Where I have to choose between you or the unwanted dreams that may bring changes to me..
And I still don’t know what to do and have not decided yet…
God if you may, please make it worth the fight… 🙏
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